06 April, 2009

More reasons why April sucks

Contrary to my previous rant about Passover it's actually one of two Jewish holidays that I celebrate, the other being Hanukkah of course. The Passover Seder is fun in that you sit around with your family and friends, eat odd foods, butcher the Hebrew language, take turns trying to read a long list of things in a single breath and drink a good amount of wine. This year, however, Passover has angered me which led to the rant about it yesterday.

Since I work at a synagogue my income revolves with the Jewish calendar. Passover begins Wednesday and lasts for a week so I don't work this Wednesday or all of next week. The week after that is spring break for public schools up here. After Tuesday I have 19 days without work. Just another reason why I don't like the month of April. I'm bored enough as it is and having almost three weeks to myself would likely result in the following series of events:
  1. Spending money I don't have on things I don't need
  2. Attempting to obtain a cat, either through legal or illegal means
  3. Having to pay an extra $1000/month rent because previously obtained cat has killed my allergy prone roommate
  4. Starting my own Nigerian internet scam in a desperate attempt to pay extra rent
  5. Accidentally scamming poor people in Nigeria instead of dumb people in America
  6. Traveling to Nigeria to return the money I stole
  7. Being arrested and forced to share a prison cell with the goat that was detained for stealing a car
I don't want to live with a goat in a Nigerian prison which is definitely what will happen if I'm left in Boston to my own devices for 19 days. The best way to avoid this is for me to take a break from Boston and visit my grandfather in southern California. I haven't seen him since we left Paris in early August. The timing of this trip is actually a little odd since he'll be flying to Boston at the end of April for my graduation ceremony but since I don't know what I'll be doing over the summer yet this might be my last opportunity to go out there for a while. Or I might be unemployed all summer long but I'd rather not think about that possibility. I'll only be out of Boston for a week which still leaves plenty of time to get myself into trouble. Other possible scenarios during my time off include writing a ton of cover letters and posting more absurd blog entries. Both of which are extremely likely.

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