05 January, 2009

No, I don't want a fucking timeshare

Every time I'm at my mom's house I get telemarketers calling to try and sell me a timeshare, give me a timeshare or ask if I have a timeshare that I want to sell. Over the summer there were several days when we would get multiple calls. I always used the standard, "I'm not interested, please remove me from your call-back list" reply but that obviously wasn't working. Occasionally I would ask to speak to a supervisor at which point the call would be disconnected. Then they got smart. I got a call a couple of days ago that was a recorded message telling me about timeshares. "At no point in this call will you speak to a live representative. After we have finished giving you the information, please leave a message with your number and what time would be best for us to call back." Tricky bastards.

I just got off the phone with another timeshare douchebag (TSDB) and thought I'd post the transcript.

Me: Hello?
TSDB: Hello! I'm calling you from sunny Florida where we have a beautiful two bedroom condo that can be yours several weekends a year.
Me: I'm not interested, please remove me from your call-back list.
TSDB: Well of course you aren't interested, I haven't told you the details yet. The location is perf-
Me: No, I'm not interested. Please remove me from your call-back list.
TSDB: But sir, you haven't heard about the incredible deal that I'm offeri-
Me: I'm not interested! I want you to remove my name and phone number from your call-back list right now.
TSDB: Sorry, what was that?
Me: You heard me! I want to speak to your supervisor.
TSDB: Of course. His name is Mr. Tone and he'll be with you in just a second.
Me: GO FIST YOURSELF, ASSHOLE.

Of course "Mr. Tone" was the dial tone and I'm not sure how much of my last expletive he heard before he hung up.

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